


Whinge and Binge

by teh_kris_eh



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drinking & Talking, Friendship, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, How Do I Tag, Married Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Married Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Married Life, Married Ron Weasley/Pansy Pankinson, Not Canon Compliant, Not Epilogue Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sassy Draco Malfoy, Sassy Ginny Weasley, Sassy Pansy Parkinson, The Golden Trio, Whining, Wine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28705362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teh_kris_eh/pseuds/teh_kris_eh
Summary: Join the lovely humans who married the members of our favorite trio as they meet up to whinge about the trouble their spouses just can't seem to avoid over a glass of wine.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson/Ron Weasley
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Whinge and Binge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RunningMan2015](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunningMan2015/gifts).



> Welcome to Whinge and Binge! 
> 
> The idea for this (hopefully) fun little story came from a post on the Enchanting the Bookworm Facebook page that I could not resist. I originally intended for this to be a one-shot, but it has evolved a bit and will now be more of a slice-of-life through the years of the trio and their families, through the eyes of their spouses. Updates will be a bit sporadic, so be sure to click subscribe to get notified of updates if you enjoy this!
> 
> Thank you to RunningMan2015 for this plot bunny that has taken on a life of its own. I hope that you enjoy!
> 
> As always, thank you to [LivininCorsets](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LivinginCorsets) for Alpha reading and for your support. Any errors are my own!

“Alright, Weaslette. What’s the big emergency?”

Ginny looked up from the liquor cabinet she was perusing as Draco and Pansy joined her in the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place. 

“Did you stop by home before coming here? Not really an _emergency_ , but...” Ginny selected two bottles of wine from the cabinet and set them down on the table with a pointed look.

“Again?” Draco groaned, summoning three wine glasses before inspecting the bottles of wine Ginny had chosen and uncorking one. Pansy rolled her eyes as she silently took a seat at the table.

Ginny nodded. “Again.” She removed a piece of parchment from the pocket of her jeans, unfolded it, and read the note aloud for the other two.

_Gin,_

_Hermione, Ron, and I are being sent on a mission. Sorry I wasn’t able to tell you in person, but we were only given enough time to come home and pack a few things. Should be a pretty simple one that should only have us away for a week. Try not to worry. I love you and will see you soon._

_Harry_

“I’m sure that a similar note is waiting for each of you at home,” Ginny finished, plopping down in the seat next to Pansy. It hadn’t been the first time that Ginny had come up from a Harpies practice to find that Harry had gone off on a mission, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. 

“I’m beginning to think that they volunteer for this shite,” Draco scoffed as he finished filling the glasses, handed one to each of the two ladies, and sat in the seat across the table from them.

“Of course they do,” Pansy replied with an eye roll. “It wouldn’t surprise me if they made it part of their contracts when they signed on at the ministry.” 

“There is absolutely a clause in their contracts that says something along the lines of,” Ginny cleared her throat and continued with the most arrogant voice she could muster, ” _When going on missions, I must be in the presence of the other two-thirds of The Golden Trio™_.”

“Well, cheers to the Golden Spouses who have to deal with their crazy shite,” Draco drawled, raising his glass to Ginny and Pansy before taking a sip.

“I just had a thought. What if they aren’t actually on missions when they go off like this? What if they are just...I don’t know...doing _this,_ ” Ginny gestured between the three of them with her wine glass, “somewhere else?”

“What, you think that they’re off somewhere on vacation right now bitching about _us_?” Pansy asked, raising an incredulous eyebrow.

“They would have nothing to bitch about,” Draco scoffed before polishing off the rest of his drink. “We are perfect spouses.”

“Right?! _They_ are clearly the ones worth bitching about.” Pansy snorted indelicately as she refilled Draco’s glass for him. “For example. If Ronald actually remembered to leave a note for me that he was heading out on a mission I will be shocked. I’m sure he figured that the other two would leave notes for you lot and that I would get all the information I needed from you.

“You know, Pans...three years later and I still don’t understand how you ended up with Weaslebee,” Draco said as he tipped his glass in thanks to her. 

Ginny nodded her agreement. “He’s my brother and I can’t say that I get it either. Don’t get me wrong Pansy, I love having you as a sister, but he can be a right prat.”

Pansy grinned as she took another sip of her wine. “Maybe, but he’s my prat. Besides, we have very similar... _interests..._ in our relationship.”

“And that’s enough of that. I’m not nearly drunk enough to hear about your sexcapades with my brother. What about you, Malfoy? What’s Hermione been up to lately?”

“Pissing off the Minister, mostly,” Draco rolled his eyes. “Honestly, I’m surprised Shaklebolt still allows her to work there. Though, if she were doing her own projects his life may be worse off...he’d probably never get her out of his office.”

“What’s the current crusade?” Pansy asked with feigned interest, polishing off the last of her wine before reaching for a new bottle.

“House-elves. Considering we employ one and you both have at least one each as well, I’m a little surprised she is back on this one. I thought her having Tink at home would have gotten her off of it.”

Ginny rolled her eyes. “Never going to happen. Hermione is _a little_ headstrong. You should know better by now, Malfoy. Besides, you gave in and let her pay Tink.”

“What else was I supposed to do? Potter started paying Kreature. And Pansy here kept encouraging her. She would have made my life hell if I didn’t agree to pay Tink. What’s that muggle saying…?”

“Happy wife, happy life!” Pansy grinned at him. “It’s my new favorite saying. I remind Ronald of it often. And _of course_ I encouraged her. I knew it would annoy the shite out of you.”

“So how long do you think until Kings snaps and kicks her out of his office?” Ginny asked. “I’m surprised he hasn’t yet.”

“He may kill her first,” Pansy snarked. 

“Excellent point. Oh! Should we start a list?” Ginny asked, summoning some parchment and a quill. “You know, of those who may decide to kill spouses? Then we’ll have a list of suspects ready to hand over to the Aurors for when one of them inevitably winds up dead.”

“So...we are at the top of that list, yes?”

“Obviously,” Draco deadpanned, a near-perfect imitation of the late Severus Snape. 

Pansy snorted, grabbed the bottle of wine, and topped off the glasses for everyone, finishing off the last bottle. “What are you two up to for the rest of the week, then?”

“Well, since they won’t be back and we suddenly all have a little more free time...” Draco started.

“We’re doing this nightly while they’re gone, yeah?” Ginny finished his thought for him with a raised glass to the other two. All three of them nodded as they dissolved into laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> Have ideas for the next whinge and binge session? Feel free to leave it in the comments!


End file.
